


The Cat

by Deirana



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deirana/pseuds/Deirana
Summary: The successful head of the department Andy is a notorious woman hero and does not treat his girlfriend or her cat Minko too well. He wants to get rid of the hangover at all costs, but when he does, it has nasty consequences for him.





	1. Der Katzenhasser

**And this story is, hm, yes, about cats, or rather about a cat that is actually different...**

**Exactly get a disgust here gets his just punishment, I think at least. So have fun reading this little story, which will get about three chapters. Such an idea for in between...**

Warning: Short scene murder of a pet

**I published the story years ago on FF.de in German under my name Deira. The story there is called "Der Kater". It is my own Story.**

**The Cat Hater**

Andreas didn't like his girlfriend Stefanie's cat at all. She was not a fanatical animal lover, but since she had been given this cattle, as he always quietly called it, by a good friend, their relationship was no longer what she had ever been.

"Next, this stupid cattle will still sleep in your bed," said the 30-year-old department head in a bad mood as he visited his girlfriend that evening. "Do you have to have it on your arm all the time?"

Stefanie shrugged. "I just like poor Minko. Find yourself with the fact that you have an animal-loving girlfriend...."

The cat turned out of Stefanie's arms and the young woman put the white animal on the ground. "I got it as such a little kitten.... I can't just give it back.... and I love him!"

Andreas no longer wanted to talk about the little cat. He didn't like the animal and knew he had to get rid of it somehow.

"Give it to the shelter," he suggested, but Stefanie cast an outraged glance at him. "Definitely not. And I'm starting to wonder why I'm with a nasty like you in the first place...."

Andreas stretched out his hand and touched his girlfriend's chest and took a step towards her. 

"Because I'm the best lover on God's beautiful earth?" he asked with a smirk, and Stefanie looked a little embarrassed to the ground." Well, yes... Already.... But... that's not all in life...."

Andreas disagreed. What could be better in life than holding a pretty woman like Stefanie in her arms? 

What she didn't know was that she wasn't the only woman he had a relationship with. On the other hand, he only saw Anya, who he had met on his last vacation, before Stefanie's time, only every four weeks.

Then they met halfway between Munich and Hamburg and spent a nice weekend together. Luckily, Anya didn't have pets, so she had Stefanie a little ahead....

And then there was Kirsten, his married and diversion-seeking work colleague, who was the only one who knew that he still had a solid relationship with Stefanie and a not-so-fixed relationship with Anya....

"When do you move to me?" asked Stefanie, bringing the conversation to a topic Andreas didn't really like.

"Why should we pull together? It.... is still too early... And here I can't get all my office stuff," he recalled, while Minko fumed quietly and seemed to look at him reproachfully.

The cat made a sentence towards him and smashed his claws into Andreas Hosenbein. Annoyed, the young department head broke free from Stefanie's embrace.

"Disappear, crap!" he cursed, looking at Stefanie challengingly. "If you care about our relationship, then this cattle is gone by tomorrow evening, understood?"

He turned around and left the apartment, while Stefanie looked sadly after him. 'He doesn't mean it seriously.... or yes....?"

Deep down, she knew full well that it was desirable to wish for this very situation, a separation. But it was so incredibly difficult and she had been so glad to have finally found someone....

Minko looked at his wife. "He's not good enough for you....!" his eyes seemed to say as Stefanie pressed him.

In the afternoon of the next day Andreas quietly entered his girlfriend Stefanie's apartment. He suspected, even before he saw her sitting on the bedroom bed, that Stefanie had not "discarded" the cat.

"Well, I can make up for that! I don't like animals," he muttered, reaching for Minko, who began to row violently with his paws in his arms. 

"Keep quiet, stupid cattle!" said Andreas, antagonised, stuffing the little animal into a bag he had brought with him.

But Minko didn't even think about giving up so easily, but the sack swayed back and forth as Andreas headed towards the exit.

Eventually, the thin fabric ripped and a claw came out and swiped Andreas' leg.

"Aua!" he shouted angrily and threw the sack to the ground before stepping his foot..... and at the same moment felt as if someone had dealt him a violent blow to the head...

Andreas opened his eyes and he recognized Stefanie, who bent over him anxiously and stroked him sympatheticly over his head. "You poor little thing. But what's going on with you? You poor.... I'm so sorry...."

The young man wanted to say something, but instead of a word came a miserable one.... Mauzen from his mouth and his girlfriend began to claw his belly. Was she crazy? Why didn't she call an ambulance? And who had knocked him down in the first place? Was a burglar broke into the apartment?

He straightened up and Stefanie lifted him up and put him on the bed.... and at the latest now he understood that something was completely wrong.

He raised his arms and saw that they were two white cat paws....

Stefanie crossed his side and he thought she had never been so gentle to him, but then she shook her head. 

"I don't know what was going on with you, Minko. Why was this bag in the apartment? And why is Andreas' suit on the floor? Where is he?... I gave him the suit for Christmas last year. Or rather, he bought it from my voucher...."

Andreas straightened up and tried to sit down, but it wasn't that easy. His body felt unfamiliar and nothing seemed to be right... and Stefanie had called him Minko!

Minko! 


	2. A new home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter continues. So have fun reading, when Minko alias Andreas finds a new home.....

Andreas rowed his paws again when, just a day later, he was pressed into the arms of a woman who smelled badly out of her mouth. The head of the department, who was now a hangover, stared into the woman's mouth and saw that her teeth were not the best.

He had spent the night in a cat basket and felt very uncomfortable. Apparently Stefanie was not one of those women who let cats sleep in their bed and constantly spoiled them.

He knew the woman who was holding him in his arms and caressing his fur, even though as a human being he had always avoided coming near her. It was Emma, a friend of Stefanie, who had once given her Minko, the cat.

"And you're really sure you want that?" asked Emma, her voice sounding indisputable.

"The cute little Minko, he's so cute! How can you?"

Andreas was violently tweaked in the stomach and gave a miserable mow, the volume of which increased even more when the woman touched his most intimate area and tweaked him there as well. "So that has to go....."

"Leave that, you stupid cow!" he thought. "I wouldn't even tackle with the pinch. Not even if we were to be suspended on a deserted island!"Stefanie answered in a soft voice and Andreas thought he was sobbing. He turned around and saw that his girlfriend, who would be his ex-girlfriend if he ever became a human again, had red pustules on his face. Her eyes were swollen and her nose was running.

"I've had one since yesterday.... Allergy... I googled. It looks like a cat hair allergy..."

Shaking her head, Emma looked at the other woman. "Listen, you don't get something like that so quickly. You can't tell me that. It's because of the landlord, isn't it?"

Stefanie shrugged. "I would have let it matter to the process. But he wrote me a really mean letter that I should abolish Minko. Cat keeping would not be allowed, but he never took care of anything like that. Someone must have alerted him to Minko..."

"That was me! Was a way to get rid of the cattle," Andreas thought sourly. 

Now this shot really backfired and hit him instead of the hangover! He didn't want to go to this Emma and why was Stefanie suddenly allergic to cats?

"Or you get him off because of this ass Andreas? I would find that really nasty," Emma said, and Andreas scratched at her, which the woman recorded with a laugh. Once again he was tweaked in the abdomen and he felt as if his intestines were being pushed out to the navel. Although Emma was not very thick, she had strong arms and he felt like he was in a vice.

"Andreas is gone. I can't reach him," Stefanie sniffed. 'He even gave back the suit I gave him. That is clear.... stupid guy! Even the underpants were there. Something common. Does he expect me to wash it? I disposed of the thing, I didn't care if it was a designer piece! He's an imaginary idiot! And he had forgotten his mobile phone with me, because he gets text messages all the time from an Anya and a Kirsten! The write.... Stuff that...."

Emma sighed. "So he's cheating on you. Kick him vigorously into the part where it hurts when he reappears.... and your allergy...."

"It all suddenly turned up," Stefanie interrupted her friend. "I never had problems with anything like that. My parents used to have cats. But it's almost like that.... as if Minko, since he somehow pushed his head, was another.... not himself anymore.... and if he behaves funny, you should go with him to the vet...."

Shaking her head, Emma left her friend's apartment with the cat basket she stuffed Andreas into and got into her car shortly afterwards.

"So you know, Minko, you really should have changed a lot if your own wife suddenly became allergic to you. Actually, she should have developed a Andreas idiot ass allergy...."

She started the engine and Andreas hoped to get out of the cat basket where he had spent the night as soon as possible. 

Eventually, the cat basket swayed back and forth as Emma took it through her own hallway to her apartment.

She lifted him out and pressed him warmly. Unfortunately, he felt like he was being crushed and couldn't breathe.

"So, Minkokikily, now you'll get to know your new little friends! These are Bingo and Betsy!" she said, pointing to two other cats sitting on the living room table nibbling cat food from a bowl.

"Sweet, do my mice have hunger?" Emma exclaimed rapturously, and she put Andreas next to his two supposed contemporaries, of whom a big grey male in particular clearly tended to be overweight.

This was even seen by Andreas, who was not at all familiar with cats.

This fat cat was also picked up by Emma and cuddled through, but unlike Andreas he let it pass without resistance and turned back to his food when he was dropped off.

Then Emma rubbed her nose against that of the female cat Betsy. "Betsychen, Emmelchen missed you so much! I wasn't there all day! Then you can all sleep in my bed tonight!"

Andreas ejused a miserable "Miau". Sleeping in Emma's bed was pretty much the last thing he wanted.

"I have to get out of here," he said, even if his words did not come out of him in human language.

Astonished, Bingo looked at him, but then turned back to his food as Betsy snuggled up to him.

He dealt her a blow with his claw. That was the last one, he certainly didn't want to cuddle with a cat woman! And the idea of sleeping in Emma's bed was the most horrible thing he could have imagined.

He looked at them more closely. Her hair was grey and unkempt, she was, he knew this from Stefanie, at most in her mid-forties, but looked at least twenty years older and she wore a dress so old-fashioned that even his grandma would have been ashamed of it....

Her feet, stuck in slats and he saw that her toenails had apparently not been cut for a long time, she did not hold too much, shave her legs.

"This is a nightmare! That's not the reality," he shouted in his cat language, and this seemed to enrapture Emma. 

"My Minkelilili, how sweet! You made miau! You are so cute! I don't understand why the bad Stefanie doesn't want you anymore. And as a consolation, you may sleep with me tonight...."

Andreas rowed with the front and back paws, but this did not bother his new owner very much.

"You don't want to cuddle? All kittens want to cuddle! I know what I'm talking about! I've had a lot of cats."

"Yes, I can think of that! You caricature of a cat lover! Couldn't I at least end up with normal owners? And shall I spend the rest of my life in this sloping apartment?" asked Andreas, resisting so much that Emma let him down. 

As soon as possible, he hustled behind the sofa, where a pizza box with old food leftovers was located.

"That's how it smells! And did this Emma was one of the noses? She doesn't even notice," he raged as steps approached and he looked into the face of Bingo, the round cat.

"Actually, I am very reluctant to interrupt my afternoon eating. But I advise you, behave well. If you largely ignore them, you come up with occasional petting. If you always resist, she thinks you still need to learn what affection is and need even more love for experiences."

Astonished, Andreas looked at the other cat. "You can speak? You... are different from this Betsy, aren't you?"

"Yes, Betsy is a normal cat. And I'm like you," Bingo replied bored. "What year does we actually have now? The calendar still says 2011, but that's slowly over, isn't it? It's a little careless with new calendars....

"We have 2020," Andreas replied. "And my name is Andreas!"

Bingo shook his head. "Get used to your cat name. And that's Minko! I once took Valentin and managed a big car company. But then I ran over such a stupid cat.... and then I ended up in the shelter as a cat. And then with Emma! She said she had to do something good for me...""

Andreas swallowed heavily. "Is there no way out?"

Bingo didn't seem to want to talk to him anymore, and then he was grabbed by Emma, cuddled up and put on the sofa. 

"Here, a few chocolates," she said, and bingo began to eat the sweets that were certainly not healthy for cats.

"Somehow you have to get the day around," said Bingo, who was once a successful company boss named Valentin.


	3. For the rest of his life....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the last chapter of this story. I felt sorry for Andy at the end, though not too much... (and I also enjoyed being mean to him!)
> 
> So have fun reading more.

Andreas spent a restless night on the sofa in Emma's living room. In fact, she had taken him and the other cats to the bedroom and had got up several times to catch him and Betsy, who also fled.

Now the unloved woman finally slept and Andreas had gone to the living room, while Betsy spent the night on the floor in front of the bed.

"And Valentin-Bingo actually sleeps at the end of her foot! Does the man no longer have any dignity?" thought Andreas, and he was furious that he had not yet been able to find a way out of his situation.

Why had he become a cat? Was it because he had kicked Minko? Was the cattle killed in the process, like the cat that Valentin had run over? And had their human souls then passed into the cat's bodies, while only the clothes of their human bodies remained? Did this happen more often? After all, people kept disappearing without a trace...

Do they all take the place of animals?

'She actually disposed of my clothes. Stupid Stefanie," Andreas thought in a bad mood. "That only happened because she had to hold a cat!"

He fleetingly thought that he himself was not so innocent of his situation, but he quickly suppressed these thoughts.

"I never wanted to be a cat! And now I am one. Stupid Viecher! And I don't want to end up like Valentine's bingo!"

The next morning Emma left the apartment, not without giving her cats a meal that Betsy and Bingo liked to devour.

"Is she going to work?" Andreas asked Bingo, who looked up unwillingly. "Don't bother me eating! This is a good job. And then I'll give myself a round of sleep. And tonight Emma certainly looks a bit tv again. I like that, we have a bit of entertainment!"

"Say, you're probably just sitting down the time until your death, what? Eat, sleep, watch TV! This is not a life for a company boss!" Andreas objected, but the other cat didn't want to hear about it.

"Oh, what's the point? You can get used to everything. And the sooner the cat life is over, the sooner I might be reborn as a human!" replied Bingo, making his way back over his food, while Betsy looked at him curiously.

"Listen, kittens, just leave me alone! I don't stand on cats! If you want a hangover, go to bingo!" said Andreas, but Bingo paused again with the eating. "That wouldn't help...."

Incomprehensible, Andreas looked at the other cat, but they were distracted.

The phone rang and Andreas heard Emma's voice on the answering machine.

_"Here's the connection of Emma, Betsy and Bingo. We're not there right now. Please tell us what we can help you with...."_

"She still has helper syndrome," Andreas thought, disapprovingly, when he heard Stefanie's voice.

_"Hi Emma. I just wanted to tell you that I forgot to tell you that Minko's castration appointment is the day after tomorrow in Dr. Becker's clinic. You're supposed to be there around nine o'clock...."_

"What?" asked Andreas, and he sat down straight. "Castration date?"

Bingo looked up. "Yes, this happens with male cats. It's been done with me, too. It's not that big, the thing, but of course you don't have a chance with girls like Betsy.... and nothing happens when you see pretty girls on TV. Human girl. And nothing happens when you read one of the magazines Emma sometimes brings with her. Those where there are indecent things in it... and..."

At one time, Bingo's voice sounded infinitely miserable and he bent over his food bowl again.

"Stop!" cried Andreas, and he looked around in panic. He had to find a way to get around that appointment.

"I'm going to get out of here! None of this should be true!" he said, but Bingo did not answer. The round cat had rolled up on the armchair and had fallen asleep.

Andreas decided to try to escape and he stood next to the front door. He hoped to escape through the door gap into the stairwell and escape.

  
Finally Emma returned home and Andreas put on all his cat muscles when the woman opened the door and entered the apartment.

As fast as he could, he scurried between Emma's legs, her feet once again stuck in slats, and jumped down the stairs in the stairwell.

He heard that Emma was following him, but once again luck should be weighed by him, because another resident of the house had decided at that moment to bring out her garbage and opened the front door.

Andreas also rushed past this neighbour, who screamed and dropped her garbage bag.

"It's my fault," Andreas thought as he rushed across the street. As a human being, he had done such a thing very often and always cursed when the cars did not want to let him pass over willingly. But now he was a hangover and no one saw him....

He saw tires coming up and felt a stinging pain on his head as the car approached him....

Andrew opened his eyes and he looked at Emma's face to his misery. For a moment, when he woke up, he had hoped that everything would turn out to be a nightmare and that he would wake up in his bed. Kirsten, Anja, Stefanie or any other woman would lie next to him and then make him breakfast...

Emma stroked him over the head and looked at him compassionately. "Poor Minko. I am so sorry! I didn't pay enough attention to you. Luckily, you just bumped your head when the evil car ran over you. You're here in the animal hospital...."

Andreas ejused a miserable mow. Unfortunately, everything had been in vain and he had not escaped. And he was in the animal hospital.....

A woman in a white coat stepped by Emma's side. "Your Minko is already doing better. And we also did the castration directly in one. But you should be more careful in the future. Maybe attach a grid or something...."

Emma nodded and patted the head of the white male, who now noticed that there was a large patch in the place that had once made him a creature of the male sex....

"This must not be true!" he mused, and so he lamented a few days later, as he lay next to bingo on a large pillow and watched the other male eating chocolates.

"You see, don't hurt anymore! Everything is already healed!", miaute Bingo in a good mood. "Today there are those with the brandy beans. It's almost like it used to be, as a human being, when I've drunk one. I also liked brandy as a human being..."

Andreas thought to himself that this would be the rest of his life. He would be cuddled by Emma, eat chocolates and cat food and never come to the fresh air again, because Emma had attached a grille to the front door and also to the windows, which made any escape impossible.....

"Maybe... I would have Stefanie's white cat Minko after all... leave alone," he thought, before he wanted to indulge in the intoxication with the brandy chocolates, but he was also denied this happiness....

"That's when I wasted it! This is not for kittens!" said Emma, taking the chocolates away. "I swapped them. You don't get anything like that...."

"I should have left the cat alone!" said Andreas, addressing Bingo, who slept deeply and firmly and did not listen to him. 

**The End**


End file.
